Snuff
by dazynl8
Summary: Sasuke, don't you understand? The death you offer so carelessly - it's all I've ever known. What difference would it make to kill me now or even later when you've already done it so many times? - SasuNaru R&R!
1. Chapter 1

_**I have a song that I'm in love with and I wanted to dedicate something to it. That song is called 'Snuff' by Slipknot and the dedicated 'something' is the following fic. It may not be much and it probably makes no sense in terms of being relevant to the lyrics, but I wrote what I felt at the time of listening to it...FYI, I listened to it 45 times...in a ROW. O_O - Yes, Quite.**_

_**Anyhoooo...NOTE:**_

_**Italics introduce characters thoughts**_

_**Bold introduces quote**_

**_O...O introduces change in character/POV...kind of...meh, you'll see,_**

**_AAAND I think that's about it..._**

**_OH! I almost forgot, DISCAIMER!_**

**_I don't own Naruto_**

**_*sob*_**

**_or the song_**

**_*hysterical weeping*_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

.

**...**

_**Bury all your secrets in my skin**__**  
**__**Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins**_

_**...**_

_._

He knew something was wrong when he didn't see or feel any signs of a battle going on ahead.

Naruto and Sasuke had left signs of their fight by way of fallen trees and craters.

They all lead in one general direction. What Kakashi couldn't fathom was why, in the far distance, he could sense no ensuing battle.

Surely they would be reaching the climax of the fight by now, which meant that Naruto would have to be using Kyuubis chakra and Sasuke activating his curse seal.

But Kakashi couldn't feel anything of the sort.

He had sent the remaining Anbu back to 'reform', as he put it.

Really, he had a bad feeling about what he would find in the distance.

He didn't want unnecessary witnesses. If it were bad, that is.

Because he couldn't feel any violent chakra, he wondered if he might be too late. If he might just be running into the aftermath of a fatal battle.

It was only a matter of time, after all. Sasuke had been engaged three times this year by Naruto.

Each time they were alone.

Each time the same results;

Naruto sitting in a crater staring at the blood drying on his hands.

Naruto face down on the dirty ground, blood flowing from his head.

Naruto stumbling in the direction Sasuke fled – bloody, of course. Always blood.

And it was always Naruto left behind. Kakashi wasn't sure if he could take it when Naruto left all of them behind in the most permanent sense.

Kakashi quickened his pace, desperately hoping he was wrong just one more time…

.

**...**

_**The air around me still feels like a cage**_

_**And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again**_

_**...**_

_._

"You bastard, I loved you."

"I know you did, dobe. That was your biggest mistake."

The raven haired boy reached out a tentative hand, brushing his fingers against warm, smooth skin for the last time.

"Idiot," the blonde said for the hundredth time, leaning into the touch.

"I gotta go, before they catch up."

"And what should I tell them, ne teme?"

"_tsk_, that we fought and you lost, same as always."

"But what if I'm _tired_ of losing?"

Naruto shifted to his feet, holding a hand out for his dark-haired friend to grab.

"You don't really have any choice in the matter," Sasuke said, then as an afterthought; "besides, this one will be the last one, remember? Next time we 'fight', it'll be real. And it'll be to the death."

Naruto sighed, his blue eyes darkening in sadness.

.

**...**

_**So if you love **__**me let me go**_

_**And run away before I know**_

_**...**_

_._

_Sasuke, don't you understand?_

_The death you offer so carelessly - it's all I've ever known._

_What difference would it make to kill me now or even later when you've already done it so many times?_

_Every time you leave me behind._

_Every time you act like that – aloof, uncaring, _moronic_ really…_

_They're all fatal sta__bs in themselves._

_So leave then, and we'll see how much closer to death you can bring me today…_

_._

**_..._**

_**My heart is just too dark to care**__**  
**__**I can't destroy what isn't there**_

_**...**_

_._

"I wish it were different, don't you Sasuke?"

Sasuke paused, focussing his gaze on a distant tree.

"Nothing would've changed," he said, his voice suddenly cold and estranged, "I always would've left."

Naruto was quiet for a while and when he looked at Sasuke there was a deep sorrow etched on his normally bright features.

"Even if we had – "

"Even then." Sasuke said, cutting into Naruto's sentence quickly.

.

**...**

_**Deliver me **__**into my fate**_

_**If I'm alone I cannot hate**__**  
**_

_**I don't deserve to have you**_

_**...**_

_._

_Naruto…_

_I didn't mean that._

_What I just said, just then, about things being different. About things not changing._

_I didn't mean it._

_But how am I supposed to tell you that?_

_Naruto…_

_If I had told you the truth – that I _would_ have stayed, would you blame yourself for not trying hard enough?_

_Would you blame _me_ for not trying hard enough?_

_Would you try and make me stay this time?_

_But…_

_I can't stay. I just have to be selfish this one last time._

_Just give me one last look at what I yearn most – more than power, more than revenge, more than life – and then I'll leave._

_Because you are worthy of something so much better than me._

_That's why I said what I did - just then._

_._

**_..._**

_**My smile was taken long ago**__**  
**__**If I can change I hope I never know**_

_**...**_

_._

As Naruto watched Sasuke walk away he tried not to let the tears that brimmed his eyes fall.

At least not until he was out of sight.

Out of sight, out of mind, right?

If only it were ever that simple.

Naruto knew that, for the next few days, he would be an emotional wreck. It was always the same when this happened – when he left – except this time, Naruto thought that perhaps this time, he just

might not recover.

He didn't feel like it.

He didn't feel like getting up on Tuesday morning and smiling. Talking and laughing as if it were the most natural thing in the world to him.

The only thing that was natural to Naruto now was the overwhelming sense of loss that pitted itself deep in his chest.

That was natural, and it was there to stay.

.

**...**

_**I still press your letters to my lips**__**  
**__**And cherish them in parts of me that savour every kiss**_

_**...**_

_**.**_

Kakashi slowed his pace as he sensed Naruto's chakra just ahead.

He was alone – again.

This was always the hardest part, discovering Naruto. But at least, Kakashi thought, at least he would discover a _breathing _Naruto, not a dead Naruto.

As he approached the clearing he saw Naruto's trademark hair shimmering in the moonlight. His back was to Kakashi and slightly bowed, shoulders hunched and hands covering his face.

Well this was certainly not what Kakashi had expected to find.

Was he really…crying…?

He moved forward, taking tentative steps, careful that they should be heard, however, because sneaking up on a fragile Naruto was never wise.

And this Naruto was beyond fragile.

This Naruto was broken.

Broken and sobbing into his hands.

It was the kind of heart-wrenching sob that can only be experienced by those who knew a fatal loss and it made Kakashi halt in his tracks, unsure about what to do next.

He couldn't believe he was witnessing this. Sure, he'd seen Naruto cry before – who hadn't?

But this made his last displays seem like childish sulking.

This was the cry of a man left behind.

In between gasps Kakashi could hear broken syllables of a name that sounded dangerously close to Sasuke.

.

**...**

_**I couldn't face a life without your lights**__**  
**__**But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight**_

_**So save your breath, I will not care**_

_**...**_

_**.**_

Sasuke couldn't hear the crying. He told himself that over and over. He can't hear it.

Hear what?

Exactly.

There is nothing to hear.

Instead he kept running, jumping for tree to tree at a desperate pace. Perhaps it was reckless to be running so blindly, but perhaps, just perhaps Sasuke didn't care in the slightest.

The only thing he cared about was far behind him, bawling like a broken man alone on a staged battle-field.

But Sasuke wouldn't know that because he couldn't hear it.

He couldn't hear it.

Was he a coward?

Probably.

But being if being a coward was the price to pay for Naruto's well-being then so be it.

Naruto didn't know what he was putting his hand up for when he chose to love Sasuke, of all people.

It was a plate full of nutty tendencies mixed with brooding arrogance and a touch of serious anger issues, all seasoned with a red tinge that demanded the blood of a restless soul that roamed and constantly tortured Sasuke just by living.

No, he won't let Naruto mistake him for love.

So Sasuke kept running until the cries were lost by distance and the throbbing of his blood in his ears.

Naruto will forgive him one day. And even if he didn't, at least he knew that Sasuke was just as lost without Naruto as Naruto was without him.

But at least Naruto would heal…

.

**...**

_**I think I made it very clear**__**  
**__**You couldn't hate enough to love**_

_**Is that supposed to be enough?**_

_**...**_

_**.**_

Naruto knew Kakashi was standing right behind. What kind of ninja would he be if he didn't. But perhaps if he ignored him long enough, he might just disintegrate into thin air…or at least have the decency to go away.

But Naruto knew better than to pair the word decent with Kakashi.

So instead he contented himself with simply accepting that Kakashi was there and he was crying Sasuke's name for the world to hear. But mostly just Kakashi.

Why should Naruto care who knew about him and Sasuke? It's not like the knowing was going to bring him back. It's not like having everyone know was going to mend the hurt that had been festering for years now.

Festering and growing into something so destructive.

Maybe destruction would merit some sort of release. Because the bliss numb that surely comes after death must be easier to bear than this _burning_.

This burning that _he_ caused in the first place only to shrink away into the god-dammed shadows like the deserter he is. Why wouldn't he face up to this? Was it so bad – love?

Obviously it was because otherwise Naruto wouldn't be feeling so bloody wretched and lost.

But it could've been something good too, right?

If only _he_ had stayed to find out.

_Teme._

* * *

**_End first installation...ONWARD WE MARCH!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**YAY! **_

_**Happy Reading**_

* * *

.

**...**

_**I only wish you weren't my friend**_

_**Then I could hurt you in the end**_

_**I never claimed to be a saint**_

_**...**_

_._

_Two Years Later..._

Sasuke had heard the rumours.

Stories about Konoha's greatest weapon backfiring on the village.

The famous monster.

Oh, he had heard them – and much more.

How the aspiring Hokage threw his dreams away when he returned from an awry mission two years ago. How he spiralled further and further into madness until even his closest friends gave up hope and left him to wallow in his own darkness.

Some friends.

Sasuke had heard how he slowly let go of his sanity and allowed the destructive conscience that lived inside him take over.

He had heard all of this and he knew.

He knew it was all his fault.

Naruto had lost himself in his grief in a way that Sasuke only wished he knew how.

Instead Sasuke remained a walking, unemotional corpse, living each day as if it were a chore. But Naruto was able to leave behind what remained too hard to bear in the most primitive way.

It was a stupid, _stupid_ thing to be jealous of, but Sasuke was just that.

And so he found himself standing in front of Konoha's gates, staring up at the wall that offered only imprisonment and a life of backstabbing murmurings. All because he was too selfish to let Naruto live in his blissful ignorance while he was left still very much aware of the burning that had racked his chest for the past two years.

.

**...**

_**My own was banished long ago**__**  
**__**It took the death of hope to let you go**_

_**...**_

_**.**_

He knew _he_ was here. He could feel him sucking the life away like a leech feeding on a gourmet of blood.

It always happened like this.

First came the overwhelming sense of _home_, then it was replace by the desperate need for acceptance finally to be devoured by the need for release from the heart-wrenching pain.

Kyuubi seemed to relish these feelings most because, when they surface, Naruto always ran from them, afraid to drown in the onslaught of emotions.

The first time it happened Naruto was able to regain control before anyone could get hurt, but as he continued to spiral downwards, so did his control over Kyuubi.

Soon it got to the point where he just didn't care anymore. Konoha could never offer him anything that could amount to _half_ of what he truly wanted, so what did it matter that they should suffer as he did every single day.

He doesn't need them.

He doesn't need their help or their _pity_ or even their _hate_. Those disgusted stares and barely concealed whisperings behind his back only drove him closer to the edge.

But when Naruto felt that familiar chakra approaching the walls, hesitating before being ushered towards the Hokage tower, something akin to hope sparked inside him.

But before he could relish the feeling, a sharp pain shot up his back and a fire of the most scorching kind enveloped him. He tried to fight it but was pushed roughly to the ground, bending over and retching into the grass as the fire continued to snake around his body.

He was faintly aware that his surroundings were disintegrating around him and could _feel_ the chakra lashing out at anything reachable.

A rumble echoed in his mind as Kyuubi reared his head.

_You don't need him, kit. You have me, _Kyuubi said before pushing what little control Naruto had to the side.

.

**...**

_**So break yourself against my stones**__**  
**__**And spit your pity in my soul**_

_**...**_

_._

_You did this to me, Sasuke. _

_Every single time, it's always because of you._

_But I don't mind._

_Not really._

_It just reminds me that I never really had you in the first place, and you never had me either._

_Otherwise, why would I hate you like this?_

_That is what this is, right? Hate and anger and disgust?_

_Well, I'll tell you, it feels good... _

_Whatever it is._

O…O

Sasuke looked over to his left where stood a _very_ pissed Sakura, then to his right where stood a rather blank faced Hyuuga Neji.

It was all rather strange to be standing next to these two people.

Sakura's reaction to him was no big surprise. It mostly consisted of relentless yelling and restrained fists (thanks to Kakashi who had her in a near head-lock), then escalating to the one thing Sakura was actually quite good at; crying.

Neji was stiff yet polite, yet Sasuke could all but _see _the barrier the he put up between them. It was a barrier of cold indifference that spoke volumes about the distaste Neji had for him.

But as loathsome companions as they were, Sasuke was obliged to at least hold back the wonderful things that were begging to be let loose.

These two were his escape to that raging boy that meant something to Sasuke.

That raging boy who had been at it now for three days, demolishing homes and forest life.

The Hokage stood directly in front of them with her arms folded in front of her large bust.

She had a look in her eyes that echoed a thousand shattered hopes. He supposed Naruto just added to those broken dreams every day. It was impressive and yet disconcerting at the same time because, in that one haunted gaze, Sasuke could see her _true_ age.

Her true age showed that she was strained near her limits.

"Consider all restraints nullified as of now," she said, staring pointedly at Sasuke.

He gazed into her determined blue eyes

"And the cost?" Sasuke asked because he knew that his freedom was not coming at a cheap price. This was Uchiha Sasuke they were dealing with, the one person who could probably be blamed the most for this current situation.

Sasuke was surprised, though, when his answer came not from Tsunade-sama or even from the ever vocal Sakura, but from Neji who offered Sasuke only a hard stare and three words each emphasised appropriately to denote the weight of the command.

"Bring Naruto back,"

Sasuke nodded, glancing once more at the Hokage then sending look in Sakuras direction.

_Don't worry, _it said, _I'll show him and all of you the depth of a _true_ bond._

_._

**_..._**

_**You never needed any help**__**  
**__**You sold me out to save yourself**_

_**...**_

_._

Naruto was walking down the familiar halls of his subconscious, vaguely aware that he had already given himself over.

Dripping water echoed and let off sheens of reflective light.

It was always like this when Kyuubi was in control.

Lonely, cold, dark, everything that Naruto was trying to get away from in the first place.

Why did those feelings always linger? They're always with him despite his best efforts. It was no use running away from it, he knew that from the first time.

He could feel his physical body straining, breaking under the force of Kyuubi's pure chakra.

He knew it was painful, but pain was just another constant companion so it didn't really matter. And besides, what would he remember of it except that in the end he always hurt people he didn't really mean to.

It was all in the name of escape. But escape from pain never came, so really, what was the point?

The point, Naruto mused, was that he didn't have to suffer alone. Sasuke certainly didn't need any help to escape. But he left Naruto here to burn.

Naruto was not one to be selfish.

If he was going to burn, then so were those who he loved. It was only right that they should share the burden; his precious people.

.

**...**

_**And I won't listen to your shame**__**  
**__**You ran away, you're all the same**_

_**Angels lie to keep control**_

_**...**_

_._

Sasuke heard the screaming first. Then he smelt the stench of smoke mingling with the salty taste of blood in the air.

The trees that lined the famous forest of Konoha were devoured in fire. Flames licked and lashed out at random bathing the whole scene in a red hell-like light.

It was fitting this way, Sasuke thought. Fitting because he knew that he would always end up in a hell-like place for his crimes against the heart. If anything, he had anticipated it with abated breath.

With Sakura to his left and Neji to his right they were moving at a quick pace, anxious and apprehensive at the same time concerning the scene they were fast approaching.

They stopped as they approached the outskirts of the village, the furthest corner wall.

"He's here," Sakura whispered, dropping into a weary defensive stance.

The way she moved so smoothly into that position with Neji quickly following made Sasuke wonder how many times, exactly, did they have to go through this.

He pushed his thoughts aside, though, when Neji activated his Byakugan and moved in a general direction.

"We cannot get close," he said, referring to himself and Sakura, "but Sakura-san must tend to the injured. You need to draw him away from here, Uchiha."

"Understood." Sasuke said with a curt nod. With that his two companions leapt up and away, leaving Sasuke in the middle of a deserted street with an enraged Jinchuuriki closing in on him fast.

_It's okay Naruto_

_It will be as I promised._

_This is the last time, then we are free._

_Just one more time…_

…

.

**...**

**My love was punished long ago****  
****If you still care don't ever let me know**

**If you still care don't ever let me know**

**...**

.

The rage; glorious.

The hate; fuelling.

The _blood_;_ o_ver powering.

Did it really matter that it was _his_ blood?

Something in his mind said so, but it was so easily pushed aside that it didn't even surface as a regret.

The red was everywhere. Red fire, red blood, red sun. He was a pure being of fire now, red was all encompassing.

_It's all _his_ fault anyway…_

O…O

Sasuke was being flung like a china doll, demolishing trees that happened to be in his path of flight.

His skin was searing with chakra burns that seemed to eat away at his skin.

The person in front of him was barely distinguishable from the carefree dobe he knew and loved.

But he couldn't deny that he was still there, _somewhere._

Even still, the feral glint in those normally blue eyes was impressive.

Sasuke stood, leaning an arm on the trunk of a half broken tree.

"Come on," he said, a familiar smirk gracing his features, "I have come so far to see you. I expected something…well, _more_."

His words seemed to have the desired effect as Naruto let loose a growl that emanated from the deepest part of his chest. It was the animalistic snarl of a wolf deprived of his prey for far too long.

Naruto moved at a speed Sasuke had not been anticipating. He threw his weight to the left, twisting in mid-air to land on his feet.

He was granted but a moment to register the four gashing lines that had formed above his ribs before he had to jump again to avoid the lash of another chakra-cloaked hand.

He dropped to a crouch as Naruto moved to pull his fist back in preparation of another swipe.

This time Sasuke was ready.

As Naruto's came flying at an inhuman pace Sasuke pivoted on the ball of his feet, using the motion to turn a full three sixty before swiping out with his left leg to knock Naruto to the floor.

Naruto met the ground with a crash and a howl of pure rage. Sasuke was quick to move after that.

He jumped onto the enraged boy, using one hand to lock two wrists above Naruto's head and the other to hold him down by the waist. His knees were locked on either side of Naruto's torso, restricting his movement to bucking hips and thrashing legs.

Sasuke tried not to move in closer to the blonde, knowing that if he did his resolve would crumble.

He tried but, like most things Sasuke did, failed.

He couldn't resist the pull of Naruto and everything that he linked with the blonde.

Naruto was hope and release and _everything_ that Sasuke knew was missing in his failed life. He had to be closer, he had to know that this was real and Naruto really was here – be it enveloped in deathly chakra and blood-lust rage.

"Naruto…" he whispered, his forehead resting on Naruto's. He closed his eyes to the world, to the pain and to the feeling of Naruto still bucking underneath him, "I can't do it."

The thrashing stopped along with the furious growls as Sasuke released the hand holding down Naruto's hip and drew it up, ever so slowly, to Naruto's face.

Fingers stroked whisker-marked cheeks firmly, knowingly. Black eyes stared into red and willed for the one he loved to show through. His black hair hung in tendrils over Naruto's face like a curtain, blocking them from the outside world.

He leaned in closer until only a scare centimetre lay between there open mouths.

O…O

_Soft. _

_Warm._

_This is…this is _home!

_But, how? What is this? _

_Sasuke…_

_Sasuke is…_

_Sasuke!_

O…O

Naruto opened his eyes to a pair of tightly closed ones. His mouth was moving in time with another as if of its' own as if of its' own accord.

"Sasuke…" he murmured.

He felt the lips connected to his own smile briefly. They massaged and caressed in a way that made Naruto's heart soar and then they slowly departed.

Sasuke opened his eyes, pulling away from the kiss.

A ghost of a smile was forming on his lips as he stroked Naruto's face tenderly.

"I'm sorry, dobe," he said sadly, "Just let me be selfish one more time."

"Always for you, teme." Naruto said as he lifted his mouth for another kiss, "but you're not getting away again."

"I know," Sasuke said, before meeting Naruto eagerly.

...

...

_**Until you burn me…**_

* * *

_**Thanks for reading! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review...or face death...AAAHAHAHAHA I was joking...it was a joke**_

_**But seriously... I will love you forever!**_

_**XD**_

_**Oh, and forgive me if the layout was a bit...annoying...I couldn't be bothered messing around with it for too long. I am a very impatient person, or so I've been told...**_

_**- D**_


End file.
